"A Gentleman's Bet" is the first episode of Season 3 and the twenty-first episode of China, IL.

Summary Edit

Frank and Steve compete over their annual "Gentleman's Bet"; the Dean and the Mayor solicit Pony and Baby Cakes' help for a think tank.

Plot Edit

As UCI welcomes the new semester, President Reagan takes notice of his low approval ratings. When suggested to think of social issues, he claims the world is overpopulated and, over the air, claims he has a solution to the supposed overpopulation but cuts the briefing before revealing it. Concurrently, the Smiths discuss their annual gamble: each man picks two students and challenges his brother to entice the selected students to have sexual intercourse with each other. Frank picks Billy and Leslie for Steve, and Steve picks Hoh-Hoh and Sunshine for Frank.

Later, Reagan calls the Governor, demanding from him a solution to the overpopulation problem, and monitors the Governor until one is found. Instead of taking action, the Governor calls the Mayor, giving him the same directions he received from Reagan, and in turn monitors the Mayor. A chain reaction continues with the Mayor calling the Dean and passing off these same instructions to him. Ending the chain, the Dean gets an idea of assembling a think tank.

At UCI, Frank succeeds in convincing Sunshine that Hoh-Hoh is attractive. The Dean and the Mayor capture Pemsy, Kim, Falgot, Crystal, Cravid, Pony and Baby Cakes, hoping to get them into their think tank. Pushing the septet into a truck, the Dean and the Mayor demand that the septet unanimously decide on a solution to overpopulation to be let out of the truck. That night, Steve spots Leslie and Billy at Town Bar and tells the former that the latter is checking her out, then lies about Billy to impress her.

In the truck the next day, Pony suggests the group simply come up with one idea, regardless of its legitimacy. When she tries to get the group thinking, Baby Cakes gets them off topic by asking about their lunch plans. Hours later, Frank tries to convince Hoh-Hoh to mate with Sunshine, only for Hoh-Hoh to run away, not listening to Frank.

In the daytime, as the think tank finish their breakfast, Pony begs that they agree on an idea quickly since her appearance is becoming messy. Just when six of them agree on one idea, Baby Cakes hesitates, but Pony reminds him that they are agreeing on an idea, regardless of absurdity, and claims they are not actually putting the idea into action, causing the others to reconsider their idea to Pony's frustration. Meanwhile, in an attempt to sabotage Frank, Steve lies to Sunshine about Hoh-Hoh, which disgusts her as she claims she "[wants] no part of that."

Later, Frank realizes Steve sabotaged him, then lies to Sunshine, stating that should she and Hoh-Hoh copulate, her parents will enjoy a bumper crop on their farm. Frank and a re-convinced Sunshine leave for the outdoors, where they try to lure Hoh-Hoh back to campus after he ran off campus. As Hoh-Hoh returns, Frank tells him about the plan, but Hoh-Hoh runs away again. That night, Steve talks to Billy and hears of his attraction to Pony. Trying to win the bet, Steve encourages Billy to copulate with Leslie, claiming it will get Pony's attention and make her jealous. Meanwhile, when it seems the think tank will gain unanimity, Baby Cakes ruins it by getting off topic, talking about even more food orders to an even more disheveled Pony's anger.

At night, Frank searches for Sunshine and Hoh-Hoh while Steve and Billy play a ruse: Steve pretends to be a school shooter while Billy pretends to be a hero to attract Leslie to Billy. The ruse proves successful for Billy, but the think tank sans Pony panic, having heard Steve's gunshots. Tired of the chaos, Pony plans on indicating to the supervisors that they've reached unanimity so she and the others can leave. Baby Cakes tells her they have no idea, leading Pony to attack him for his frequent sidetracking. The resulting motion releases the truck's tires from their stoppers, setting the truck in motion.

As the truck rolls, it destroys what's in its path. Sunshine rescues Hoh-Hoh from being in its path, and the two start kissing. When the truck stops the think tank exit, a messy-looking Pony attacking Baby Cakes. Seeing this, Billy cancels the plan between him and Leslie to Steve's disappointment. Breaking up the fight alongside the Mayor, the Dean asks Pony what the solution is. Pony claims it's a "death draft," and when he then asks if everyone is in agreement, Baby Cakes hesitates again but raises his hand along with the others when Pony scares him. The Dean and the Mayor head inside as Frank cheers, for Sunshine and Hoh-Hoh are preparing for their sexual intercourse. As Frank gloats, Sunshine's parents experience a bumper crop as predicted.

As day breaks, the Dean and the Mayor pass their "idea" to the Governor, who then passes it to Reagan, who in turn goes live with another briefing during which he explains the idea of the death draft, which is that while anyone may be called to be killed, any person can commit suicide to help the overpopulation problem. Pony can't comprehend that the absurd suggestion really is being put into practice while people around her start killing themselves.

Night falls, and Frank enters Steve's apartment as part of his prize for winning the bet. As Frank prepares to sleep, Steve holds Frank at gunpoint, ignoring Frank's objections and the fact that Frank won. Steve wrongly claims Frank's victory never happened and orders Frank to leave. Frank exits and panics while Steve sleeps, wanting to believe he never loses to Frank.

Trivia Edit

  • This is Green's first appearance since "Dean's List".
  • Reagan's eternal presidency first mentioned in "The Diamond Castle" is mentioned again in this episode.
  • A picture of Obama's family can be seen in the White House.
  • Frank notices that Steve calls himself "Stevie" whenever the latter is losing his sanity.
  • Sunshine is also the name of one of the hippies from "Prom Face/Off".
  • Sunshine's losing her shoe and Hoh-Hoh's retrieving the shoe are references to Cinderella.
  • Baby Cakes' line, "Stop killing me softly, Pony!" is a reference to the song "Killing Me Softly with His Song".
  • When talking to Sunshine, both Frank and Steve refer to each other as an "ugly dude."
  • Billy states that his parents are dead.

Running Gags Edit

  • Characters discussing overcrowded conditions.
  • A miniature Steve representing Steve's conscience appearing on Steve's shoulder.
  • Frank and Steve addressing Frank's students as "rat dicks."
  • Sunshine, and later Frank and Cravid, saying pronouncing "animal" as "anal-mal."
  • Characters referring to Steve as the "cooler" brother.
  • Characters calling Pony a Turkish man as her appearance becomes increasingly disheveled.
  • Steve and Leslie copulating.
  • Reagan addressing a cameraman in a derogatory manner.

Ideas to Combat Overpopulation Edit

  • Crystal: limit birth rates
  • Cravid: make everyone homosexual
  • Kim: death draft
  • Crystal: execute all men
  • Pemsy: flood the South
  • Cravid: doo-doo dicks [1]

Quotes Edit

Frank: [Trying and failing to get his students' attention] Listen to me, you rat dicks!

Ronald Reagan: [To a cameraman] Hit the cameras, shit-eye!

Pony Merks: You're indecisive about things that aren't even decisions!

Baby Cakes: I can't decide between the toilet or the urinal or a pile of towels.

[The Governor makes a phone call to the Mayor.]
The Mayor: This a man or a woman?
The Governor: Man! It's a man!

The Dean: You can't have a team full of Babe Ruths; they'll have nobody to catch.

Sunshine: I know pig dick.

Sunshine: He's such an anal-mal.
Frank: Look. You gotta stop pronouncing it like that.
Sunshine: Like what?
Frank: Like butt-fucking. You say "anal-mal"; it's "animal."

Miniature Steve: [Appearing on Steve's shoulder as Steve and Leslie copulate] Stevie you handsome idiot, why are you doing this? You're the cooler brother, man!

Flip Flop: It's the cooler brother!
Steve: Shut up, you rat dick!

[Pony's appearance is becoming messier as time passes.]
Cravid: This new Turkish dude is making sense!

[Steve is caught with a gun in hand.]
Matt: You a school shooter now? What happened to the cooler brother?
Steve: Who, Stevie? He's winning!

[A drone kills those in line in front of Matt.]
Matt: Yes! Finally, no line!

[Pony attacks Baby Cakes.]
Cravid: That Turkish guy is an "anal-mal"!

Baby Cakes: Stop killing me softly, Pony!

Reagan: [To a cameraman] Hit the cameras, Doo-Doo Dick!

Characters Appearing Edit

Gallery Edit