Dean's List

"Dean's List"
Introductory briefing for the game.
Directed by	Mike L. Mayfield
Written by	Brad Neely
Original air date	March 5, 2012
Starring	Crystal Frank Pony Steve The Dean
Previous	"Dream Reamer"
Next	"The Perfect Lecture"

"Dean's List" is the tenth episode of Season 1 and the tenth episode of China, IL. This episode marks the Season 1 finale.

Summary

Different departments on campus are selected for the Dean's List, an annual scavenger hunt that is much more dangerous than it sounds.

Plot

Mass chaos ensues.

Many students and staff members learn to their horror that they are on the Dean's List, a scavenger hunt that in previous years has caused many casualties. Anyone who refuses to participate in the game will suffer negative consequences, and evidently, no one can retreat from the game before it begins. As the event starts, the teams fight with one another over the items, the teams doing anything to win for their respective departments. To add interest in the game, the Dean activates a switch that places various and numerous weapons into play. Within a few hours, the campus sustains heavy damage, and many of the starting players die or suffer injury.

The Super Science and Spanish Teams are in the worst shapes member-wise, with one member and two members alive, respectively. The History Team has five out of its original six alive, and the Literature Team still has all six of its members. Crystal, not knowing where Stephen, her sole teammate, is, tries to join the History Team. While two members of the History Team contemplate quitting, Steve rejects their suggestion, insisting the team finish the game. Steve attempts to retrieve an item, but the Literature Team attacks the opponent, prompting an enraged Frank to kill the entire team. As Steve recovers, Leonard grabs the item, and Stephen, who has since joined Leonard's team, attacks the remaining six opponents.

Frank confronts the Dean.

As Crystal quells Stephen, the other teammates threaten Leonard, who contemplates joining the others as well. The remaining eight players have five of the items; the only remaining item is the Dean's belt buckle. Frank decides to avenge the Dean unassisted as the rest of the players barge into the Dean's office and relentlessly fire ammunition. The Dean escapes his office and stands atop the roof of the office tower, where Frank simultaneously arrives. Immediately before Frank can kill the Dean, the Dean tells the professor that the History Team has won the game and submits his belt buckle. As a reward for the victory, the history professors enjoy a paid vacation.

Trivia

• Donny's last name is revealed to be Maguppie.
• At one point, Baby Cakes shouts, "Watch out! Air Bears!" which is a parody of Care Bears.
• Donny and Lee make their final appearances in this episode.
• Although Donny's name is spelled as Donny here, it is spelled as Donnie in "Dream Reamer".
• This is the 29th game of the Dean's List.
• Despite being a history professor, Sammy isn't shown going on the vacation.
• Leonard calls the Dean's Assistant a "silent little punk," a reference to the latter never speaking in the series.
• This is the first episode in which Crystal has involvement with the History Department since changing departments in "Coming Out of the Casket". She later reveals in "The Perfect Lecture" that she helps the History Department out on occasion, and completely switches back by "The Diamond Castle", with "Do You Know Who You Look Like?" being the final episode in which she's shown in the Spanish Department.
• Frank's line, "Tell the world to get a room. We're doing this one in the road," parodies the song "Why Don't We Do It in the Road?" by The Beatles.
• At the episode's end, Old Yeller, Sanford, Beard Baby, Jesus Christ, and Kenny Winker appear.
• As the remaining players invade the Dean's tower, Leonard still wears red shorts and shoes along with the yellow uniform corresponding to the History Team while Stephen still wears the red loin from when he first appears under Leonard's control.
• All unnamed players die during the game. Hanz and Nelly are the only named players to die.

Teams

• History Team – Donny, Frank, Hanz, Pony, Sammy, Steve
  • Survivors – Donny, Frank, Pony, Sammy, Steve
    • Near the end of the game, all surviving members merge into the history team, abandoning their own.
• Literature Team – Nelly, five unnamed members
  • Survivors – none
• Spanish Team – Crystal, Stephen, four unnamed members
  • Survivors – Crystal, Stephen
• Super Science Team – Leonard, five unnamed members
  • Survivors – Leonard
    • At one point, Leonard is seen with Stephen, the former having the latter ready to attack any opponents who challenge the former.

Chronology

• Deaths:

1–6. Five of the members from the Super Science Team and Hanz, courtesy of Leonard.

7–10.* Four members of the Spanish Team, courtesy of Leonard.

11–16. All six members of the Literature Team, courtesy of Frank.

• *The female student on the Spanish Team was never shown being killed but appeared as dead when the remaining competitors ambushed the Dean and his audience, meaning she was killed off-screen. On the other hand, Stephen was shown being shot at but survives.
• When Stephen first appears with Leonard, according to Leonard, three hours have elapsed.
• Immediately afterward, Frank climbs the Dean's tower and collects the Dean's belt. This part taking roughly four hours according to the clock on the tower, the game spans approximately seven hours.

Running Gags

• Characters using inch in place of finger.
• Baby Cakes thinking the Dean's list is a movie starring actors.

Golden Items

1. A pair of panties
2. A squirrel
3. A graduation cap
4. A pair of sunglasses
5. The Dean's belt
6. Condom wrappers

The Dean's Audience

• Green
• Lee
• The Mayor
• Baby Cakes
• Tim
• The Dean's Assistant
• The Aquarium Boss
• other unnamed members

Quotes

Pony: Oh my God, how are you a teacher?

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Leonard: Come back here, you silent little—punk.

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Pony: I buy that you were drugged that one time—or always.

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The Dean: Kill or be killed! Barbados or be Barbadosed!

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Baby Cakes: Movies are better than people; you don't have to smell who you're watching.

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Baby Cakes: [Having seen Leonard shoot several players] Man, that actor playing Dad went nuts.

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The Mayor: Dean, where the dip at?!

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Frank: [Obliterating the Literature Team] Tell the world to get a room. We're doing this one in the road.

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[The remaining players attack the Dean and his audience.]

Baby Cakes: This movie just busted the fourth dimension!

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Baby Cakes: Watch out; Air Bears!

Characters Appearing

• Aquarium Boss
• Baby Cakes
• Beard Baby
• Crystal
• Donny
• Falgot
• Frank
• Gang Sang
• Green
• Jen
• Jesus Christ
• Kenny Winker
• Lee
• Leonard
• Nelly
• Old Yeller
• Pony
• Sammy
• Sanford
• Stacy Megan
• Stephen
• Steve
• The Dean
• The Dean's Assistant
• The Mayor
• Tim

Gallery

"Oh no, not that!" –Frank.

Leonard checks up on his class before learning his department will play in the Dean's List.

Steve explains the Dean's List to Pony.

A panorama of the starting competitors.

The Dean explains the rules of the game.

The Dean throws in some surprises.

Mass chaos breaks out.

Crystal tries to team up with the history team.

Frank wipes out the entire literature team.

On the right, Stephen's descent into madness begins.

Leonard surrenders when gunned down.

The remaining players invade the Dean's office.

Frank confronts the Dean for his "game."

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"Dream Reamer"	"The Perfect Lecture"